Inspiration or ... ?

sometimes when i make musics or rap, i often (not too often) found that my tunes sounded like others. whether they are the tones, or my rap flows. most of it happened unintentionally, and i realized it just when the songs are done. hmmm i said most, so what about the rest? i used to listen to some musics for my reference. well not by any means of being imitator or plagiarizer, i might have copied, but i always add something different in it. i tried so that my role models didn't dominate my style. i took a little from them and add a lot from me. so i just called it 'inspired' (intentionally) and 'accidentally inspired' :P

"Lagi sibuk apa?"

this question bothers me lately, lol. "lagi sibuk apa?" ("what are you busy with?") cos i'm not busy with music making so i just answer "sibuk cari kerja, sama sibuk cari jati diri" ("busy with job searching and self character searching") since i'm not working yet, and yeah it's really hard to find a job in Indonesia. and now most of the outsourcing companies are making the contract which is not profitable for the employee. alumni of ITS with GPA above 3 just ain't enough! well it depends.. depends on how hard you try to get that job and fate. i didn't say luck, cos it doesn't mean that when you don't get that job then you're not lucky. who knows that God decides you not to work there because it will cause bad effect for you in another day. my friend told me this..

Allah answers prayers in 3 ways :

1. says yes and gives u what u want

2. says no and gives u something better

3. says wait and gives u the best in the perfect time

at least it can chill me a little :) i wonder.. is there any job for childish people like me?

We don't need no education

"seneng deh semua female emcee otaknya gokil2!" that's what Yacko said when i told her that i've finished my bachelors. yes, i graduate in March 2008 from Electrical Engineering ITS majoring Telecommunication Multimedia. and ya i think so, many female emcees in indonesia are having good education background. ok let's start.. Yacko, she's a lecturer and she's got her MBA from University of Wollongong, Graduate Diploma of Applied IT from University of Sydney, Bachelor of Business Administration from Edith Cowan, Bachelor of Economic from Trisakti University (whoaaaa how come she has loads of degree in such a young age). Scario Da Sylva, she's finished her bachelors from IPB. Inka, Ndeesaster, and Lady Gan are now studying in Universitas Indonesia. Missy Allen, she's studying in UNPAD. i believe that there are a lot more names than what i've mentioned above. if you know something, then please let me know :) is that enough by just having degree? i think that the true lesson we get when we are outside of school. we learn how to communicate with others, how to respect others and how to get respect from others. we can measure our maturity by seeing how tough we overcome the obstacles, how good we take responsibilities. i'm not trying to say that i've experienced in this. in fact that i'm just a childish and spoiled girl. but now i'm learning, cos one day i must grow whether i like it or not. i learn from all the mistakes i've done. i learn how to make a decision in an instant. i learn to see things from a different view. sometimes we need to loosen up our ego a little. and when trouble comes, always, don't forget that we still have God.

Was it an accident?

i often ask myself a question, why do i step into hip hop? the same question that Ndok has given, "koq kamu bisa terjun ke sini (hip hop)? kamu tuh pantesnya jadi guru ngaji." i bet you'll say the same thing if you were my friends and have known me for a long time, lol. so what about Yacko, Ndeesaster, Lady Gan and other female rappers? well, they are good precedents to follow, but i started rapping before i knew that they're exist. i was a vocalist of a band when i was in senior high school. we're all girls and we played pop, top 40, and anything we could (GNR, RHCP, The Offspring, Pearl Jam). we've been into some festivals and cafe. when i was on the 2nd grade, we planned to try Eminem's song called Stan. i dunno they wanna torture me or what, cos the lyric is a long one, and i haven't really listened to hip hop at that time (i listened to RATM, Slipknot, Deftones, Korn), but i memorized all the lyric and flow only in 2 days. after that we played Limpbizkit, Crazy Town, Linkin Park, and i started to enjoy rapping. when i went to a college, another senior high school friend (Ndok) introduced me to hip hop. he's a b-boy (breakdancer) from SKJ (Soerabaja KedJang) and bomber (graffiti writer), he lent me cassettes, one i can remember was from KrisKross (the oldschool one). he also told me names of famous Surabaya hiphoppers, and also introduced me to hiphopindo site. one day, on the radio there's an interview with Wisha (Surabaya's senior rapper), so i called the radio and asked him how to write lyric and music. he explained in details about the tricks and the software for making beat, and he even gave me his phone number, on air. once i text him that i rap on MTV, it was a Linkin Park pre-party concert and i got the free invitation, there's a game and i rap, the camera took me fore some seconds lol. and then on early 2004 i met Saykoji from hiphopindo, and asked him details about making good lyrics and music. he told me something about syllables, punchlines, metaphors and a little about beat making technique. thanx God that all those people are willing to answer my questions clearly. after that i followed radio battles. after sometime of those performances, Ivan another Surabaya senior rapper, called me with 'Fafa - The next Yacko' at first i dunno who Yacko is, he said that my voice is similiar to her. then i knew that we went to the same junior high school (SMP 6 Surabaya), if i'm not mistaken, she's from class of '91 and i'm from class of '96. i never meet her in person, only by email (when she had her concert in Surabaya (2005), in one of univ in Surabaya (UNTAG), in front of my house, i didn't meet her, cos i was doing my final project book and the next day was the deadline and my presentation. so i only heard the crowd and her raps from inside of my house), i'm looking forward to meet her actually. she's a nice girl to talk with, i asked for her thought too when i wanna continue my study. at first i just knew her by her voice when a radio interviewed her, and i don't think her voice is identical to mine, at all! only when i heard her song (so what) in the radio, i was like, 'damn.. who's that girl.. she copy me'. my friends at college also said the same thing, they thought that it was me singing the song on the radio. so the issue about the voice was true. then i started to build my own voice character, and i made it far from hers. once in 2004, i become a finalist in a Surabaya rap competition (from 10 finalists, i was the only girl). it was my first solo performance in front of very large audience, it was an outdoor performance at Mc Donald's Basuki Rahmat. before i stepped to the stage, a guy greeted me and wished me a good luck. but i just smiled and said 'ya thanx..' like to the others. i wasn't in a fit condition that night, i forgot some words in the third verse of my lyrics :P but still the audience was super. when i came down, the guy who greeted me came to me and shake my hand, he introduced himself, 'Wisha..' God i was surprised and a little embarrassed lol. and we only had a small talk. in early 2005 i became the opening act for a group rap Twin Sista from Malang. it was in Qemi Club Surabaya and i performed together with Era, Chemie and Kojex. we had a little conversation, they shared their first performance story, they said that they were totally blank and forgot the lyrics during their first performance in Ground Zero (so i'm not the only one having a bad first time performance experience lol. but mine wasn't really bad thou hehehe). in early 2006 i followed the audio battle on a website. i only did 6 times (5 wins, 1 draw), at least it can improve my english a little :D and in early 2007 i released my so-called indie album called Camouflage.

so now what is it all about? was it an accident for me being a female rapper? and i dunno if i wanna go fully into hip hop. i'm not sure, yet..

Back from the death..

i've finished my study.. and i was kinda paused my hip hop activities for a while.. and after having some lack of inspirations, halt of creativity, i guess now i'm gonna stand up and fight again. once a friend told me, "never let go of your dreams, they're what keep you from tumbling back to reality..." and i've just realized that some people do not want me to quit from this game. and i admit that i still miss the vibe, the crowd and the camera blitz when i was on the stage holding the microphone.. priceless moments :) even if the hip hop scene in Surabaya is not really awake lately, i'm sure that one day the era will be repeated, and we will rule just like previous names you've heard from Surabaya. i believe that i can still produce good shits even when i don't use expensive equipments..